They both reached for the gun

is the most catchy song EVER.
Thank you Chicago.
I found out I'm staying in New York for a day longer than I thought so that will be EPIC.
Don't worry you'll be there with me someday.
Camp is over.
I return to my friendless state.
I just found out today all my teachers loved me. I thought at least two hated me.
They said and I quote "You should really pursue this. You work really hard and it's going to get you far."
Have I ever told you I love reassurance?
Reassurance that I fight the good fight, that you still love me, that I am good enough, that I'm not obese.
Speaking of obesity I am now hiding a bag of goldfish under my bed.
It's not because I'm fat or because it's contraband.
It just feels like it is.
I feel like I have to sneak my junk food.
My dad and step-mom are at their friends house. So I'm here alone.

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?????
So I wasn't able to rant about this until my brother and sister found out but my dad got married. In May. Without telling me or inviting me.
I have a step mom.
And step grandparents.
DID I MENTION I WASN'T INVITED.
But I guess this means that I don't have to invite him to my wedding.Which will be to a hobo as my revenge.
Ben and I have discussed this.
So I have a step family now.
It's weird.
She's 22 years younger.
I could also get a half sibliong.
It's so surreal.
But I have a family again.
A traditional family with a mom and a dad and a kid.
It's honestly kind of weird.
I have A LOT to discuss with my therapist.....


So might I say I have acclimated.
I have a family.
I found a comfy couch.
I go and buy junk food at the CVS which is two doors down.
I figured out how to work the T.V.
I have a library card.
I have a room where my things re kept.
I don't make my bed so it actually feels like my room.
I am allowed to stay home alone.
I can talk to my mom whenever I want.
I do have friends, just not ones who live close.
I'm lonely but it's getting better.
Things really aren't that bad. I just needed to give it time.