Adventure Day 4

I'm sorry for not blogging yesterday. Really I am. But when I had time it was in the afternoon and I was like well, I want to blog after stuff has happened. But then after the party that my dad threw and the most amazing fireworks display you've ever seen Ben called me and talked to me until 2.
Giddygodspajamas I miss that boy.
I start camp today. It's a little nerve wracking especially since when I'm in a new situation I tend to be awkward and ask a lot of questions about the other person since I don't want to seem self centered.

So that whole I-don't-give-a-shit-what-you think attitude is really only for people I know. I don't care what they think. But when I'm in a new situation what the other person thinks is all that matters because I don't want to be that girl who sits by herself.
It's odd because when I don't know anyone I get really awkward and really quiet.

Have I mentioned I'm scared shitless.
But even if I don't make any friends I can still come home every night and talk to my real friends. And if sit alone at lunch at least I get to eat breakfast nd dinner with parentals who care about me.
This is more reassurance for me than anything for you guys to read but we're all interested in theatre so I have that in common with EVERYONE so it's a start. And this way I can meet people today and try to start making friends before I pull a Charlie Brown and eat lunch all alone with a bag over my head.
This blog is really long because I just need to vent and reassure and it gives me something to do until my dad knocks on my door and asks if I want to shower before breakfast.

Might I mention that this is not a kid friendly house. Sure there is a Jelly Belly machine and a backyard but that is the extent. You can't talk too loud because voices carry. I have no idea how to work the T.V. so I haven't watched any. We have a foyer if that isn't hoity totiy enough the floor is made of marble. No parent that I know would ever have marble in their house unless it's the kind that kids can play with. Everything is really neat and tidy and except for the pictures and my unmasde bed and random clothes spilling out of my suitcase you'd never know anyone lived here. All the furniture is modern and cool. There are really awesome lights and a great kitchen. But there are no big comfy couches to plop onto. There are no pretzels for afternoon snack. I know I seem bratty for complaining but the truth is is I'm homesick for my house and my food and my friends and this place could never really be home to me. Or at least that is how I feel bu Advemture Day 4 out of 21.

I want to feel at home here I really am trying. But so far that isn't going that great. It's not even that I want exactly what I had at home. Not at all. I want a few friends, a bag of pretzels and to know how to work the T.V. and I would be fine. Homesick is the wrong word to use here. I'm not sure what the right one is but I miss the things of home but I'm not ready to come back.

Not yet.

It's like I'm on a new planet and I need to learn to breathe a new atmosphere and then I'll be fine...

P.S. Sorry for complaining but I just needed a nice long rant.