WHAT?

What the fuck happened today?
After a while during every part of my day I would just look over to whoever I was with and said "What the fuck just happened?"

It started with the talent show. I didn't really have much of a plan and the talent show was very cute but very unorganized.
Then we have to clean all of this up and I faint on my way upstairs.
Then go to IHOP and I eat a lot and play odd slapping games and drink too much Dr. Pepper.
Then I pretended to look for Alaska in a fluffy coat.
Then we lost Becca, Allie and Austin.
Then Ben's car wouldn't start.
Then I had to steer a car that was being pushed in reverse.
Then I come home to find Sarah in my driveway waiting to take me to a party and I look nasty from camp.
Then an old lady was trying to hide her Depends Underwear.
Then we couldn't figure out how to get to the party.
Then we show up to find only the host and one other person and find out that this is the whole party.
Then I was paranoid that people could hear me while I was peeing.
Then we played awkward twister.
Then I hung out in my ex-boyfriend's parents room.
Then I was pushed into a pool.
Then I hung out in my ex-boyfriends parents room some more.
Then we took ugly bathroom pictures.
Then I was badly frightened by the sound of fireworks being lit.
Then I lied and left early.
Then we rode down the highway with all the windows down and the music up screaming the words.
Then I get a text about a house invasion.
Then I yelled obscene things and angry rants out to other cars.
Then I made friends with the UPS guy that was in the lane next to us.
Then we drove to cookout and sat in the parking lot for 2 minutes, yelled penis and left.
Then I come home to find people on my front porch.
Then I threw a wet bikini on my friend.
Then I was interrogated about my sex life by a large black man in a peace sign medallion and wife beater.
Then I packed for the useless end of the universe and forgot to pack underwear.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TODAY?
Can anyone tell me because quite honestly I DON'T KNOW.